Tuesday, April 27, 2010

a lil squint down the 'no fat chicks' axis

The following lines are from recent CL ads all over the country in different categories--men for women/men, women for women/men.

Now this is some parallelism. The point is not (exactly) that people can't have preferences, it's that it's awfully interesting what BBWs are collected in No lists with. It seems like it should be a song. A chanty, drone-y song. NO fatties no FATties no fatTIES!
  • NO FAKES, PHONIES, BBWS OR DRUGGIES
  • NO MEN, COUPLES, BBWS
  • NO MEN, NO BBWS, NO SWINGERS, OR GHETTO CHICS!!
  • NO BI'S, NO MEN, NO NEWBIES (1ST TIMERS), NO BBWS
  • NO GUYS, BBWS, DRUGGIES, STUCK UP/SELF CENTERED WOMEN
  • NO BBWS BE CUTE. ABSOLUTELY NO NO NO MEN. OH NO FLAKES
  • NO GUYS OR TS/TG OR ANY OTHER T'S AND NO BBWS PLEASE
  • NO BBWS, NO FUCKING FETISHES, NO FUCKING ANIMALS.
  • NO BBWS, NO EBONY, NO MEN
  • NO BBW, NO OLDER WOMEN EITHER
  • NO ALCOHOLISM, BBW, BINGO, CATS, CHLAMYDIA, CHEAP WATCH, CHEWED FINGERNAILS, CLASS RING, COSTUME JEWELRY, DRUGS, FEAR OF FLYING, FREQUENT USE OF PROFANITY, GLAMOR SHOTS, HAIRY LEGS, INFREQUENT BATHING, JUDGMENTAL, JEALOUS & ABUSIVE HUSBAND, LINE DANCING, LIVING IN TOWN WHERE BORN
  • NO EGOS, NO BBWS
  • NO BBWS, PROS OR IMPLANTS
  • NO 3SUMS WITH YOUR MAN, NO STUDS, NO BIG GIRLS, NO TEENS, NO BBWS, NO COUPLES, NO MEN, NO MEN, NO BOYS, NO FAKE PICS
  • NO BBWS, NO PILLOW PRINCESSES, NO ATTACHED NO COUPLES!!!!!!
  • NO BBWS, COUPLES, MEN, CURIOUS PPL, FLAKES, WEIRDOS
  • NO BBWS OR TEDDY BEARS
  • NO BBWS, DRUGS, SMOKERS OR WOMEN OVER 40. NO MARRIED WOMEN!
  • NO BBWS OR BLACKS
  • NO PRUDES, NO BBWS, NO OTHER MEN, NO STUDS, NO RELATIONSHIPS
  • NO MEN! NO BBWS. NO BUTCHES.
  • NO BBWS OR FREAKS OR FAGS
  • NO BBWS, NO SIGNING UP AT WEBSITES!
  • NO BBWS, DARK SKINNED GIRLS, OR ANYTHING SLOPPY
  • NO BBWS, STUDS, COUPLES, MEN OR UGLY CHICS
  • NO BBWS OR WHITE WOMEN
  • NO BBWS, NO TS, NO MSM, NO NSA
  • NO BBWS, NO FEMALES WITH KIDS, NO CONFUSED CHICKS WITH BOYFRIENDS
  • NO BBWS, DRUGGIES OR HEAVY DRINKERS/SMOKERS, GAY OR BI GUYS
  • NO BBWS, DRUG USERS, SMOKERS OR "PROFESSIONAL" LADIES, NO SPAMBOTS AND GAYS POSING AS WOMEN.
  • NO FULL SWAP AND NO BBWS
The following may be the best "NO BBW" ad ever. I guess I'm a heartless jerk, because it made me laugh, but I'm sure not assuming it's real except in placer's desire to get laid:
ONE LAST TIME - M4W - 22 (END OF THE ROAD)
NOT GOING TO BORE YOU WITH ALL THE SAD DETAILS BUT I'LL JUST GET THE POINT OF IT:

I'M NOT LONG FOR THIS WORLD, ITS DAYS WOULD BE BRIGHTER AND NIGHT MORE STUNNING IF I JUST ENDED IT ALL.

FIGURED, I MIGHT AS WELL END IT ON A GOOD NOTE, SO HOW ABOUT IT? [I'm gonna kill myself...let's fuck.]

NO BBWS, ALL RACES ARE BEAUTIFUL, AND KINKY WOULD BE NICE BUT VANILLA IS ALRIGHT IN MY BOOK.
Just to round out this whole no-fat-chicks thing, check out this tattoo below (dude stole the DumpTruck logo). I dunno--when you bother getting an image of a fat chick permanently engraved in your flesh I might argue you don't actually hate them. That is protesting very much too hard indeed.