Norbit

I don't know the whole layout of the film, obviously, but I finally decided to face the preview for Norbit and it just made me heartsick. Horrible. Every tired, mean, fathatin, womanhatin, blackwomanhatin, ain't-it-hilarious, fat women are big balls of sloppy nasty clueless sexual need whose desires are gross and unreturnable, dumb, stupid, cheap, humiliating, mean-spirited, soul-killing, narrah, pinched, heart-hearting cliche and then some.

What the FUCK is up with people and fucking fat suits? (Or in this case, "fat suits"--I think there's CGI at work with a fat woman in a bikini and Eddie Murphy's head. Iould know more if I could get the movie feature loaded.) What is up with the fact that they are so often used for people to "be" fat black women these days? What the fuck is wrong with Martin Lawrence and Eddie Murphy? Part of why this sucks is that Murphy is a good actor and is funny and you want to like this. Another horrible part is that on the red carpet they give these lame props, like heyyyy we're down with y'all, but it's just bullshit. There is this (dunno how else to think of it) bad racist component to all the fatsuit hilarity...taking a certain stereotype and making it even more deep-grooved and less human.

One of the worst things about all this in general? There are very few fat people on the silver screen. And when there are? They are this, fake fat people, they are fucking fat suits. The Bust or Bitch article I fergit that called them the new minstrel show was dead-on. Not only are you not gonna be heard, we're gonna play you for you and make it clear just what you are. Bully mentality.

If I had to guess (I haven't wanted to find out) there could be some redemption in this movie. I bet it's got squidges of humanity in it, like those stupid fucking Nutty Professor movies where whathisface is the good guy but his fat self is a constant joke. You can see it, even, in the preview. But that just makes the way they're selling it worse, and in the end it's only a matter of degree anyhow. The trailer is one of the worst things I've seen in years.

Hollywood is terrified to look at the fat form, or even a form slightly outside of its chosen Zone. Terrified to bestow its benediction on it, let the camera linger without judgement, let a fat body show up again and again, let others get to know it, let it have and be and need. They refuse to diffuse how they feel about it.

The character's name is Rasputina, by the way. Her body--"body"--body looks quite beautiful to me in many of the preview snips.

oh Merv

"I've outlived all of my diet doctors. My first diet doctor was Dr. Atkins. And then I went through Dr. Stillman, the water diet. I think he drowned on his own diet. And I had Dr. Tarnower, and his girlfriend shot him. So I gave up dieting."
(Merv Griffin in Esquire)

skinnnnnnny

Heather over at Fashion Survivor pointed out some recent scary Hollywood weight drops among the "plus-sized" actress group (such as Sara Rue and oh my GAWD, that Reba lady). Sigh. She also pointed out a story I'd heard about Nicole Ritchie firing her stylist, the stylist being notorious for clients who get too skinny.

The thing that suddenly struck me about that is: how incredibly nefarious and WHAT a good plot for a story. A demoness...a Svengali/Iago/Faustus (Iaga? Faustina?) type who pipes women to their doom, tempting them with all the empty spoils of fame that burn them alive but make the stylist burn bright. There are plenty of archetypes to manage that, make it interesting. It's kind of Dorian Gray-y...or even Persona-like. Twisty turny identifications and devilish schemes. I mean, the situation really--on the surface--bespeaks some old-fashioned evil at work, to cozy up to people, play on vanity, get them doing bad things that are probably good for the stylist. Rasputin-y. That kinda thing.

hic

Has there ever been a better news week for fat, boozing mice? Sloppy drunk, lying about? Telling strangers they love them? Drunk-dialing, doing the walk of shame, calling old girlfriends? Their PR reps must be thrilled. And working their tiny little cellphones.

I just crush a lot

I've been on a Big Pun kick recently (last year my Fat Joe interest started around this time too--is fall fat rappah season?), to the point where I've been pondering iTunes-ing that freakin song ("Feelin' So Good") he did with FJ and Jennifer Lopez, but I am damned if I'm going to give J.Lo 99 more cents so she can make more videos where she wears Starter jackets and pretends to still shop in the Bronx. Except the FJ/BP part of it is so good--he was so smooth.

There is an interesting essay about Big Pun in a book I reviewed last year, Fat: The Anthropology of an Obsession. Fascinating, sad, poignant. He had eating issues almost similar to those with Prader-Willi, related to his impoverished childhood.

something in the air

I just weighed in--officially--on the "waddle" kerfuffle at Willamette Week. What is going on this week? Something in the air about fat folk, methinks. I don't want to keep the controversy alive (very glad she will be apologizing), but at the same time I *had* to say something. Unbelievable. I still can't believe--more than anything--that the editors let that one through. Unbelievable.

Off to mash my sausage fingers hopelessly against the keyboard--

60-second rant

How much do people hate fat folk? On the IMDB board for Phat Girlz (msg now taken down), somebody posted a message saying that all fat women should put poison in their food and eat it to kill themselves off. They compared it to giving needed medications to their dog.

It's upsetting hearing that kind of vitriolic prejudice, but (like for many people, I bet) it almost feels good to hear that shit said out loud. Because it's like not like I don't experience that reaction from people--they're just too chickenshit to say it. (Sometimes. It ain't fun to get harrassed on the street either, but that kind of idiot reaction is different.) Here you get to hear people articulate their hate. And you can say--oh right. That's why you won't look me in the eye. That's why you're waiting on my friend, not me. That's why you're talking behind my back. That's why you burst into laughter when I walk away. That's why you don't see me. That's why you look suprised that I'm not dumb but can't remember that I'm not. That's why your smile falls off your face when you see me. That's why you're hoping for a hole in our talk that makes it clear I hate myself so you can jump in and hate me (in a nice way) too. This is how you act when you want to hang out a car window and yell things at me but know you can't. And the grossest part of all that is that the next shade of emotion closer to human is only horrible disapproving pity and who looks good in *that* color--nobody. Miles to go before the love. Lifetimes.

By any means necessary!

Fear of a Fat Planet

My friend Damian made this image/takeoff on the PE logo -- it always makes me giggle. Hilarious. Plus that sentence often finds cause to go a-ringing in my head. Very appropriate. Only about 19,000 news stories/headlines/goings-on I ran into this weekend that made me think it. Including the fact that:

I was talking to my friend Holly tonight and she confirmed something I had *thought* was true from commercials I had seen on TV, which is look at what the *!@#$%$^&^&$(%# they did to Mo'Nique on the cover of Phat Girlz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??!?!??!?!?!??!! It looks like they PhotoShaved a good six sizes off of her--I have a hard time believing Mo'Nique approved that herself. Not to mention that the alternate cover isn't much better--she's slightly bigger but the theme of the image is worse. What the bloody hell. If Fox Home Entertainment can't get it together to show a fat girl something close to her real size on THIS DVD cover, then there's no hope. Idjits.

we can show y'all better than we can tell y'all

Josh Max has a great, really nicely-written article at Salon about his life as a guy who loves fat women. It's wonderful, very lucid. I don't know if that direct link will work, or if you'll have to stare helplessly at a Salon ad to make it show up, but it was in Thursday's Salon if you need to backtrack. Thanks to JL for the link!

- - -

Speaking of fat chicks in the media, BET had this really inane (read: promotional) countdown show of the top 12 moments on the BET Awards show, but I was still breathlessly clasping my paws together throughout, (inanely) hoping for Mo'Nique's 2004 dance to be No. 1 and it was! Glory be. Her dance is still one of the most amazing fat girl things I've ever seen on TV, especially when surprised with it cold for the first time. I love her for flying the fat flag high and putting her money where her mouth is. And I love their dresses. I love their dance! Not to mention those 30 seconds are the only 30 seconds of any Beyonce song I like. I like the bass and the Chi-Lites sample, 'scuse me but I just do.

Worth a clicky-click.